yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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