I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
