just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Semen is not good for contacts.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
