do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
