idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I need a beard to bite.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize