I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
