yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
