Betty ford says i'm here all night
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
