Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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