Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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