last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Randomize
