her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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