He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Just high enough for therapy.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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