Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
