if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
