If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
