so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
