Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
