Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Randomize
