I think I am morally bankrupt
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
