I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
