so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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