I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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