i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
