Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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