Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
