Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
