coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
