ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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