**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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