So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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