One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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