yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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