these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
He felt like a one man threesome
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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