I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
