Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
