tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
