Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
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