i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Randomize
