just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
