Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
