He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
