bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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