Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize