he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
