i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Randomize
