weddingsv make me drug and hornr
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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