You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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