My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
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