This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
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