Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Sober January is a disaster.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
