I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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