the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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