Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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